My writings... and how I've found a new life-- not in the ashes of the old life-- but in eyes and hearts of new friends, new lovers and new places.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What is my Agreement?

Recently found out that a friend & her tribe have a 14 page agreement.  So when someone wants to become part of that group, they are agreeing to.... well, lots.  I didn't ask if it was double spaced.  I hope it is for read-ability.

They require reading some books (Ethical Slut and something else...)  Lab work for STD's, every 6 months, with documentation, meeting all the partners, four dates before physical intimacy, and a variety of other... really good suggestions.  There's a lot of definition and boundaries listed.  (i.e.. What is sex? What is allowed?  Open mouthed kissing?  What about hand/genital contact?)  Their agreement makes clear very specific rules, so there is no misunderstandings later.  Granted, they have been courting some inexperienced poly potentials.. so clear definitions and communication is needed.

So I started to think about my agreement.  I'm part of a fluid-bonded triad. We dated for less than a year before we were fluid-bonded.  We were all tested, we verified the lab results.

We don't have any of that in writing.  We're a closed triad (we only are sexually intimate with each other, no outside lovers).  What would we put in a written agreement?  How many pages would it be 14 pages?  I can imagine a contract similar to a business contract.. including how to exit the relationship.  What would I put in an agreement?  As my triad is discussing it, we'll tailor the agreement to how we currently operate.

This agreement should be an interesting writing assignment.  Do I understand our relationship the way my partners do? And what would be other good information for an Agreement?

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