Blow up on Valentine's Day with my work out buddy. She has been expecting a lot from a relatively new relationship. She's an acquaintance who thinks she's a BFF. Our perspectives on the relationship are very different.
My longest term friendship dates back to 5th or 6th grade. Time isn't the only factor in friendship.. but it is important. A friendship deepens as time goes on. Knowing the entire history.. of the marriages, the children, the jobs.. it's important for a deeper understanding. Long conversations don't replace short weekly/daily exchanges over years.
Another factor is common activities/interests. I've got many online friends who have become dear to me because of their knitting or eBay selling or poly household. Sometimes a single interest can bloom into a beautiful friendship... given time and space.
I had known this acquaintance for several months. She thought we were friends.. and perhaps we could have been. However, on Valentine's Day, she had a melt down over Yahoo chat. She called me a liar, and well, I've been there before. The truth comes out... but too little and too late. Invariably, the broken trust is difficult to regain. And with this relationship, there was no reason for me to save it.
Lately, the difference in how people perceive a relationship had cropped up as a topic in several diverse places. Invariably, it is that there's a difference in definition or understanding.
Friendship requires a give and take..Speaking and listening. Whenever the conversation becomes a monologue, it is time to re-evaluation the relationship. I'm willing to listen for a long time. Many people need to talk through difficult situations. I have a talent for asking questions... and making people think about other options.
Thank you for reading this... I needed to write it. I've deleted a lot of info that I needed to write for myself.
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