My writings... and how I've found a new life-- not in the ashes of the old life-- but in eyes and hearts of new friends, new lovers and new places.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Would you rather be right or happy?

Would you rather be right or happy?

This question was posed to me during couples counseling.  Years later I found out that my partner decided to leave me during that session.  Basically, he wanted to be right, and decided he could be right AND happy, if I wasn't around.

I hope that worked for him.  Communication is important.  I think I know what you want, and what I've said... but it is misheard.  I tell lovers to assume that I intend things to sound kind, and gentle.  But sometimes that doesn't happen.

Or worse, I'm trying to be gentle, and the message is lost completely.

Would you rather be right or happy?  I'd rather be happy.  I compromised in that relationship... Did dishes his way, ran on his schedule, fixed him dinner.. but ultimately, his impression was that I always got my way.  I needed that relationship to become who I am today.  I don't regret it.  But wish I had learned faster.