Journaling

Recently I was giving advice about dealing with a break up.  This is how I deal with the current limbo... which is my relationships.

Start Journaling (if you aren't already)-- write about this experience, so you can go back later and see what lessons are in it.

I'm going through a Triad break up.. not as traumatic as yours, but painful.  So I'm writing what went well, what went wrong.  The next relationship will be different, I want to be more cautious with my heart.

By writing out what's going on, I can look at it objectively later.  What should I do differently next time?  There's a lot to think about... and most is best left private.  So I'm working to get stronger, emotionally and physically.  and working to heal myself after this break up before I move on.

Journaling also helps me identify WHY I feel a certain way.  About a week ago I realized that it was old shame... I was quite critical of "the other woman," when I was in my 20's.  Now I am that woman... In the Poly community, I might be considered a "cowgirl."  Although my (remaining) partner and I are both still poly.   I feel shame.  Writing about this feeling helped understand why I feel this way.

One thing I learned about myself...(which I'll share publicly)  I don't like dating.  I don't like NRE.  I prefer the long-term quiet companionship of a relationship.  So I tend to push a relationship into that model... perhaps before it is ready... before I've considered how well this will work for everyone.  I need to date longer, learn more about people, enjoy the diversity, before settling down to a physical relationship.