On the other hand, after dating for 7 years, living with him for another 9 years, and moving to another state to be rejected, 'friend' just seems inadequate. Can I get a tiny bit of credit for feeding him, waking him, and knowing him for 20 years? I realize it doesn't count to him.
We were a good match at the time. I needed a steady male influence for my daughter. The passion, the physical were not important. However, now they are. I've neglected myself, the touching of my body, and the emotional needs for too long.
She seems to think I'm living in the past. Oddly, at this point, I'm building a future...with others.. without attaching to any single person to "fix" me.
And I deal with his neglect and comments on a daily basis. It's easy to say, "He told me I was unattractive." but does she really understand? To her, image and looks are less important, so that comment is neutral.
And she wants us to be friends. We(the three of us) are friends. But the damage is still there. My communication was stunted by talking with him. I don't rock the boat, I avoid controversial subjects, and tend to be an emotional doormat.
We were a good match at the time. I needed a steady male influence for my daughter. The passion, the physical were not important. However, now they are. I've neglected myself, the touching of my body, and the emotional needs for too long.
Ultimately, the issue was commitment. I loved him, and was willing to change who I was to be with him. His troll communication style rubbed off onto my real life. I planned on caring for him, even though he didn't love me. Now that doesn't matter.. He's got another love. She will cure his depression, his apathy, his unemployment, his... well... lifestyle. They are soul mates.
She doesn't mean it as an insult. I wish her luck. I couldn't make him happy. I hope she can. But yesterday, he just looked exhausted and old.
Meanwhile, my life progresses. I'm rediscovering communication. Direct communication gets direct results. I'm learning that some men are pigs. My roommate.. a nice guy.. just loves to fuck. He calls himself poly but basically screws anything that will let him. The emotional relationship is minimal/nonexistent. He brags that if he doesn't screw a woman by the third date, he stops dating her.
Our relationship has changed. Since he has added 2 women in 6 weeks (well, counting me that's 3 in 6 weeks), I'm requiring a condom. In the first conversation, he's basically refusing, hasn't worn one since he was a teenager. Well, I've got future lovers to protect.
Yep, this is a bitchy post. Sorry. I need another cup of coffee.
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