The most dangerous person in a poly relationship.

I'm the most dangerous person in a poly relationship.... Well, any newbie is.  There are no rules, but each family/group/tribe has their own set of rules.

The "Newbie" is most likely to not know the rules.  We might reveal details that should be quiet, or fail to disclose something important.  Communication is important...and in the early relationship, over-communicating is better than under-communicating.  That's been hard for me to learn.

While poly rules vary, here are some common rules: ask before playing with someone else, no surprises, always use a condom.  Frankly, when I first started, it seemed that everyone was fair game... I could (theoretically, at least) sleep with every poly.  The reality is different.  There are poly predators who do that.  However, there are many committed polys that have multiple, long term partners.  In my area, long term can be in the 30ish year mark.  As I settle into a relationship with my couple, the rules remain reasonable.  As I watch various relationship problems, I see how important rules are.

The "Newbie" is most likely to make mistakes.  When talking after a playful bed session, my partner revealed that she was using one hand for touching her genitals, and the other hand for touching mine.  In the passion of the moment it is easy to forget which hand, throw caution to the wind.. and ... well, make a newbie mistake.  I'm grateful that I'm learning from people who love me... AND know what they are doing.  Many mistakes are made when someone isn't aware.

I've made mistakes... and I've learned... Fortunately none of the mistakes were life changing.. but there was potential for that.  Use condoms... and don't assume your partners are honest.  Seems sad to say that.. but if he refuses to wear a condom with you... he'll refuse with others...

I'm leaning.so I'm less dangerous.. to myself, to my lovers, and to my future lovers.